What the Way You Smoke Says About You

The cannabis landscape is filled with hundreds of different ways to get baked. Let's discuss look at some of the more popular ways people are consuming cannabis, then make giant sweeping generalizations about them based on that preference. Here we go kids…

Joints

Image via  Flickr  by  lookcatalog

Image via Flickr by lookcatalog

You just want to get stoned. You either smoke constantly and have a tolerance that rivals that of most dab fiends, or you have a very low tolerance and don’t really care how you get high; you just want to catch that buzz. You will smile as you light and relight the same joint stashed on your bathroom counter for the duration of the week.

Blunts

You remember when weed used to be illegal. You like Cypress Hill and get a nostalgic rush when you smell the combination of tobacco and weed. The process of rolling the blunt is every bit as important as the blunt itself. You have a preferred wrap brand and flavor. If you haven’t smoked a grape swisher and watched Kat Williams' “Pimp Chronicles” please take this as a call to action to do so.

Bong

You smoke often and you have a time and place that you do it in. The room your bong is in is the stoner equivalent of the study you would drink your evening scotch in. The presence of a bong in a home increase the likelihood of incense by at least 50%. If you have a designated place for your bong that is not left in the open you are more than likely a functional stoner. If you leave your bong out in the open at all times it is very unlikely that you are caught up on your laundry.

Heady Glass

Cannabis is a part of your personality and to varying degrees your identity. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. The most extreme example I can think of is my old friend Big Balled Buddha, a high times judge and the owner of a very impressive butt tattoo. The dude turned his entire ass into a peace sign and now charges people $5 to see it, donating all the money to orphans in South America. This is who I think of when I see a well cared for and treasured heady piece.

Dabs

My lack of tolerance is surpassed only by the unlikelihood that I am a tiny cute girl with the lungs of Andre the giant. What the hell is it about doing yoga, going to festivals, and being “kind of” employed that gives some women the ability to smoke as much as snoop in his prime? If you’re a guy and you dab you probably have a favorite Incubus album and have increased odds of being weirdly athletic and coordinated without any training. Your name is probably Todd.

Edibles

You aren’t afraid to go deep. There’s nothing lurking in your brain that you are afraid to run into. I envy this confidence. If you eat more than 250 milligrams at a time there’s a chance that you are in fact Joey Diaz. If you are Joey Diaz and you are reading this please keep up the good work @madflavor you bad motherfucker!

If you like this article, email us and tell me your knee jerk opinions on the way people choose to smoke. And as always, thanks Buds for reading!

The Ubiquitous Flower

The History of...

Marijuana has been around forever. I mean, since ancient times, which this day in age means the same thing. According to history.com, the earliest reference to its use in medicine dates back to at east 500 B.C. Back then, levels of THC were very low, creating a much milder experience than what we’re used to in 2018.

Transition to Modern Times

Now we use marijuana to do anything from de-stress a little after work to blasting off into the outer-realms of existence. Not quite like acid, but almost as if acid had a ceiling on trippy hallucinations, and you just kept getting more paranoid and tired. Basically, cannabis cultivators bred the plant into a super-psychoactive monster. Now most people who avoid smoking pot do so for the same reason: “It makes me paranoid.”

And who can blame them? While I can’t seem to find any specific scientific reasoning behind the reaction, anybody who’s smoked weed a few times knows that feeling. It creeps up from the back of your shoulders and seeps into your mind.

“Is somebody following me?”

“Can they all tell that I’m stoned?”

“Man, I must look like an idiot.”

But for those of us who feel that the more enjoyable parts of the drug are well worth it, we had to deal with the legal implications. So, we all decided not to smoke pot until a few certain states, like Oregon, decided to make recreational pot legal.

JUST KIDDING! We all kept smoking. The only difference was, it was concealed. Now, you walk downtown long enough and you’re bound to see somebody smoking a joint. Though you’ll almost certainly catch a waft from somewhere else long before that.

The Ubiquitous Flower

Weed was and is everywhere. It’s definitely reached an even wider audience now that it’s legal, but as somebody who participated before the recreational boom, I certainly don’t find myself any more involved than I was previously. Less so, in fact. I’m not sure why. I certainly prefer legalization on every level, but that certainly takes away from how “cool” it is. How can an activity be cool if “the man” approves of it?

Public opinion on cannabis has changed dramatically since the market crash of 2008. Approval ratings for legalization have risen consistently without fail over the past 10 years, after barely rising at all in previous decades. We’ve hit a point now where the average non-evangelical Christian approves of legal marijuana. Who’s holding back legalization at this point? Old angry people? Pot heads forgetting to vote? People in power who stand to lose money over the hemp industry? It frankly makes no sense, and the inevitable end to all this is nationwide legalization.

The point is, weed is everywhere. It always has been. It will be for the foreseeable future. It’s a weed. Literally. It’s in the name. Whether it’s weeding it’s way into the soil, or into our minds, it’s not going anywhere for a while. And I, for one, am okay with that.

by Ben Ferguson